#mo

Bomb', Reyes said, not bothering to look up. 'One of ours?' Maddox insisted... 'Hardly. I know better than to blow myself up,' Reyes sighed. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#reyes #humor

Curran roared. The blast of noise erupting from his mouth was like thunder. I clenched up, fighting the urge to step back. “Yes I can,” he snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Man who hates cats is insecure, but a man who likes them is one worth keeping. If he can appreciate a cat, he can appreciate a strong, independent woman. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#lifestyle #man #woman #humor

I had recently come into the possession of a Thesaurus. You would not believe how many words there are! When I opened that book, I was like, whoa! Word party! ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#humor

Intelligence is not found when you have a plan, rather it's measured when you have no clue what you're doing. ↗

— Charlie 'Gale'

#intelligence #humor

Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?” Ghastek asked. “Nope, I’m just here to look pretty. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Francesca: It's still a bit cold yet. Michael: Never stopped John and me. Francesca: Yes, well, you're Scottish. Your blood circulates quite well half frozen. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #scots #humor

But ever since I made the decision to drop a few pounds-way less easy than it sounds, by the way-I've become obsessed with my size and in so doing I've inadvertently allowed my inner critic to have a voice. And you know what? She's a bitch. Like now when I see my underpants in the laundry, I no longer think Soft! Cotton! Sensible! Instead I hear her say Damn, girl, these panties be huge. ↗

— Jen Lancaster

#weightloss #humor

Now be a gentleman and open the door for me. My hands are full."-Noah to Mara ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor

It's like I was connected to the plumping system. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor