#mo

Have you ever been approached by a grim-looking man, carrying a naked sword with a blade about ten miles long in his hand, in the middle of the night, beneath the stars on the shores of Lake Michigan? If you have, seek professional help. If you have not, then believe you me, it can scare the bejeezus out of you. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#scared #humor

I don't care who her mother is," Magnus said. "You can't see me with out an appointment. Come back later. Next March would be good," "March?" Sebastian looked horrified. "You're right," Magnus said, "Too rainy. How about June? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

In a very little time they got to the corner of the field by the side of the pine wood where Eeyore's house wasn't any longer. 'There!' said Eeyore. 'Not a stick of it left! Of course, I've still got all this snow to do what I like with. One mustn't complain. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humor

Bomb', Reyes said, not bothering to look up. 'One of ours?' Maddox insisted... 'Hardly. I know better than to blow myself up,' Reyes sighed. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#reyes #humor

Curran roared. The blast of noise erupting from his mouth was like thunder. I clenched up, fighting the urge to step back. “Yes I can,” he snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Man who hates cats is insecure, but a man who likes them is one worth keeping. If he can appreciate a cat, he can appreciate a strong, independent woman. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#lifestyle #man #woman #humor

I had recently come into the possession of a Thesaurus. You would not believe how many words there are! When I opened that book, I was like, whoa! Word party! ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#humor

Intelligence is not found when you have a plan, rather it's measured when you have no clue what you're doing. ↗

— Charlie 'Gale'

#intelligence #humor

Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?” Ghastek asked. “Nope, I’m just here to look pretty. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

Francesca: It's still a bit cold yet. Michael: Never stopped John and me. Francesca: Yes, well, you're Scottish. Your blood circulates quite well half frozen. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #scots #humor