#mo

She's a librarian, Sim said. They're not teachers; don't give you half as much hassle. If there's a fire in the school and I've got to choose who I'm gonna save - a teacher or a librarian - the teacher's gonna burn every time. (p. 24) ↗

— Keith Gray

#librarian #teacher #teens #humor

A difference in self loathing? Please. The only difference between a gun and a rope is the time it takes to tie the knot. ↗

— Justine Larbalestier

#humor

Shigure: We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is being an ass. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#fruits-basket #humor #laugh #shigure #humor

He ought to buy her a new dress. She would never accept it, of course, but maybe if her current garments were accidentally burned... ...But how could he manage to burn her dress? She’d have to not be wearing it, and that posed a certain challenge in and of itself... ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #humor

Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver ↗

— Dan Wells

#fiction #humor

You know, drinking milk doesn't make your boobs get any bigger. ↗

— Peach-Pit

#humor #ikuto #manga #shugo-chara #humor

Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride. ↗

— T.R. Wallace

#romance #whimsy #humor

Damon Scares me,' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.' 'Can't.' 'Why not?' 'Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

Your neck smells like cheese,' I said. 'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #todd #humor

I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger. “Your GPS just went blank,” Ranger said when I answered. “The car exploded.” There was a beat of silence. “Rafael won the pool,” Ranger said. “Are you okay?” “Yes.” “I’ll send someone. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor