#mo

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor

How does he do this to me? He's just touching a small area of my body and the hormones are flying. ↗

— E.L. James

#humor

Cleavage is great," she said. "Like an extra pocket. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #kelley-armstrong #rae #humor

I can’t believe you grew up and ate a monkey. Worse, I can’t believe I let a guy who ate a monkey kiss my mouth.” Honey,I kissed more than your mouth. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor

This is worse than Hollywood, he thought. A girl comes in with a pork chop and I write a song for her. ↗

— Eva Ibbotson

#humor #marek #song-for-summer #humor

The oversized chairs are white; the walls, covered with occasional landscape paintings, are white; and the plush carpet is the whitest of all. I'm insanely glad I didn't bring a cup of grape juice with me. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#humor

Eve-"In the name of all that is holy...It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?" Roarke-"Amen ↗

— J.D. Robb

#roarke-humor #humor

I'm a conundrum. Or an enigma. I forget which. ↗

— James A. Owen

#mystery #personality #humor

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Grandma frowned and yelled something in Russian. She could have been saying, 'Open up, your best friend is here.' On the other hand, it could have been, 'America is a great country because of canned ravioli. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #humor