#morelli

Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#morelli #humor

Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car." In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled to explain. I didn't feel obliged to do it convincingly. "It was an accident. My foot slipped." "That was no accident. You jumped the goddamn curb and followed me down the sidewalk. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #money

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#guns