#nic

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire #funny

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

All the electronic devices are powered by white smoke. When smoke goes out, device is dead. ↗

— Milan Nikolic

#funny #funny

But money spent while manic doesn't fit into the Internal Revenue Service concept of medical expense or business loss. So after mania, when most depressed, you're given excellent reason to be even more so. ↗

— Kay Redfield Jamison

#humor #mania #manic #mental-illness #psychology

There are wonders to behold in our world that few will ever experience…Wonders capable of providing an artist inspiration for a lifetime; Wonders to make the world into a place of beauty, and wonders that show us the connections we all share. We each enter our lives like a drop of water into a still ocean, spreading out with each experience in waves, touching the lives of each and every person we meet; and they, in turn, share their lives and experiences with us. ↗

— Alex G. Zarate

#cat-rule-chronicles #echoes-of-innocence #linked #ripples-of-mind #beauty

Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. "Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking. "More or less," Arriane said ↗

— Lauren Kate

#fallen #fallen-angels #humor #ironic #sarcasm

To be fair to Monica," I said, "what you did to her wasn't very nice either." "What'd I do to her?" he asked, defensive. "You know, going blind and everything." "But that's not my fault," Isaac said. "I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm saying it wasn't nice. ↗

— John Green

#hazel-and-isaac #nice #the-fault-in-our-stars

Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name. “Does your mother call you Pigeon?” “No.” “Then to me you are Paul.” ... “Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read. “My mother never calls me Nathan.” “Is it Nate?” “She calls me Honeylips. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#names #nicknames #humor