#non

I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#family #martha #martha-s-vineyard #name #nonsense

If you are not vegan, please consider going vegan. It’s a matter of nonviolence. Being vegan is your statement that you reject violence to other sentient beings, to yourself, and to the environment, on which all sentient beings depend. ↗

— Gary L. Francione

#abolitionist #ahimsa #animals #education #exploitation

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137) ↗

— Stephen Clarke

#bed #cannonball #cartoon #cartwheel #ceiling

Were you aware that my sister looks like my brother? They both look nonexistent. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#awareness #brother #family #nonexistent #sister

One avoids Creolisms. Some families completely forbid Creole and mothers ridicule their children for speaking it. ↗

— Frantz Fanon

#fanon #freedom #negritude #onwuegbute #family

The foundation of adult trust is not "You will never hurt me." It is "I trust myself with whatever you do. ↗

— David Richo

#david-richo #friendship #love #nonfiction #relationships

I am a philanthropist. I hand my clothes down to customers at half the price they would get them from their families. Even with all the discounts I give, my non-profit chain is highly lucrative. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #non-profit #philanthropy

It’s 3:32, and I need just one more ingredient to finish baking 3:33. Would you prefer the AM or the PM piece?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cooking #food #ingredients #nonsense #time

It can be challenge enough to have to eat with myself. ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#food #food-safety #non-fiction #vegetarianism #food

I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #funny #homeless #humor #nonsense