#nor

You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#love #save #soap #life

You're not crazy. In fact, you're perfect. Everything about you couldnt be more so if I made a list of all the qualities I wanted in a partner and special ordered you. ↗

— Bonnie Erina Wheeler

#paranormal-romance #torin #love

The door banged open and Eve rushed out, flushed and mussed and still buttoning her shirt. "It's not what you think." She said. "It was just - oh OK, whatever, it was exactly what you think. Now WHAT? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#paranormal #romance #humor

I had fun last night," I told Patch, flicking off my chin strap and handing over my helmet. "I'm officially on love with your sheets." "That the only thing you're in love with?" "Nope. Your mattress, too." Some smile crept into Patch's eyes. "My bed's an open invitation. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#love #patch-and-nora #humor

They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his heavy arms out and turned in a circle, his bare chest catching the light. "I mean, come on." "They're for fighting, not fashion." "So are kilts, but you don't see me rocking the tartan." "And thank God for that. You're too bowlegged to pull that shit off." Butch assumed a bored expression. "You can bite me. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#butch-vishous #humor #paranormal-romance #romance #vishous-vampire

Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.” -Jane to V ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #jane #paranormal #romance #vampire

I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#warbreaker #willful-ignorance #humor

Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha! ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#paranormal #romance #humor

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog. "Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood. With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#fairies #humor #intoxication #sookie-stackhouse #vampires

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#ignorance #lemony-snicket #library #humor