#o

A brick could be used to monitor earthquakes. If the brick crumbles apart, you can bet an earthquake occurred.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Funny thing, employment. If you keep doing it, you keep getting paid. ↗

— N.K. Jemisin

#humor #funny

A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no gust will knock your hat off.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is blocking my urethra. But it’s not painful, because my penis is just that big. 
Oh yes, it’s as big as this lie is.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

101 Reasons Why its great to be a woman : We have three times the amount of potential sick leave. Take into account all those days you are unable to work owing to pre, during and post menstrual tension. ↗

— Summersdale Publishers

#humor #woman #funny

A brick can become a trip to Breckenridge, if you get hit on the head with one and get knocked unconscious.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I went to the priest for confession, but he didn’t do it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #priest #funny

A brick could be used to commit genocide on a small patch of grass, if you lay the brick down on the lawn and leave it there long enough. But I do not condone this monstrosity of lawntrocity. (Lawn + atrocity—clever, no? OK, no, it’s not so clever. To have any lawngevity as a writer, I’ve got to avoid making clunky, brick-like puns.)
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick can’t cure cancer. But who knows, maybe a brick combined with a blanket could. I’ll have to ask Dr. Burzynski about it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Fuck You!' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me!' [His mom said] 'Sorry. I mean, screw you.' 'You need a time-out!' 'I need a mausoleum! ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#jonathan-safran-foer #oskar-schell #sad #funny