#oh

The alcohol had the effect of making the black cloth blacker. This amused her; she had noted in her journal: "booze affects material as it does people. ↗

— Alice Sebold

#humor #humor

Curse you, cheap beer. Must find miso in tiny packet. ↗

— MCM

#hangover #humor #malediction #humor

If she’d been born at the right time they would have burned her over in Salem. ↗

— John Updike

#comic #humor #john-updike #humor

Lowkey punchdrunk off this Sangria-sweet love and all it’s prodigious trappings… ↗

— Brandi L. Bates

#drugs #humor #love #sex #humor

Carbohydrates from the Latin, carbo which means "yummy" and hydrates which means "cinnamon bun," are not something I can eliminate or even drastically cut back on. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #yummy #humor

And so Harry became proficient in the task of cleaning up vomit. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #skills #humor

...Holmes, who loathed every form of society with his whole Bohemian soul, remained in our lodgings in Baker Street, buried among his old books, and alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition, the drowsiness of the drug, and the fierce energy of his own keen nature. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#cocaine-and-ambition #john-watson #sherlock-holmes #nature

I am not your victim because you are not a predator any more than a bottle of scotch stalks an alcoholic. ↗

— Sue William Silverman

#alcohol #love #sex #love

Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said. Isaac shot me a look. "Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love? ↗

— John Green

#love #promises #the-fault-in-our-stars #young-adult #love

ما يصيب المسلم من نصب ولا وصب ولا همّ ولا حزن ولا أذى ولا غمّ - حتى الشوكة يشاكها - إلا كفّر الله بها مِن خطاياه No fatigue, disease, sorrow, sadness, hurt or distress befalls a Muslim - not even the prick he receives from a thorn - except that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 70, #545) ↗

— Anonymous

#hadeeth #hadith #islam #mohammed #muhammad