#ombies

So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?” “Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#romance-funny #romantic #ushers #vampires #werewolves

It's why I get miffed at all the dashing around in recent zombie films. It completely misses the point; transforms the threat to a straightforward physical danger from the zombies themselves, rather than our own inability to avoid them and these films are about us, not them. There's far more meat on the bones of the latter, far more juicy interpretation to get our teeth into. The first zombie is by comparison thin and one dimensional and ironically, it is down to all the exercise. ↗

— Simon Pegg

#humor #memoir #zombies #humor

She watched as the dancing lights of madness swirled and flickered in his eyes like the fires of hell, and she knew that there would never be anything that could quench those fires except death. Vanessa knew that Jango had become his own Grim Reaper. ↗

— Cedric Nye

#death #grim-reaper #hell #horror #madness

Can’t call ‘em zombies anymore,” sighed Manny. He seemed almost wistful. “Now we gotta be all politically correct. It’s like the Cold Wars never happened. ↗

— David S.E. Zapanta

#necrophobia #political-correctness #rebirth #undead #zombies

He could wear hats. He could wear an assortment of hats of different shapes and styles. Boater hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats. The list went on. Pork-pie hats, bucket hats, trillbies and panamas. Top hats, straw hats, trapper hats. Wide brim narrow brim, stingy brim. He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn't someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty aur ether had. And they were. They were cool. ↗

— Derek Landy

#fezzes #hats #skull #zombies #style

I sighed. I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want it to be all sexy, too. And, trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. I mean, sure, their glamours can be pretty hot, but the dry-as-bone corpse bodies shimmering underneath? Nothing attractive there. ↗

— Kiersten White

#ya-urban-fantasy #young-adult-fantasy #young-adult-lurban-fantasy #zombies

Me agarro el estómago de nuevo. —Me siento vacío... Me siento...muerto. Él asiente. —Matri...monio. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#marriage-humor #r #r-and-julie #zombies #zombies-life

...they come to us, these restless dead, Shrouds woven from the words of men, With trumpets sounding overhead (The walls of hope have grown so thin And all our vaunted innocence Has withered in this endless frost) That promise little recompense For all we risk, for all we've lost... ↗

— Mira Grant

#poetry #zombies #men

Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#funny #zombies #funny