#or

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ↗

— Fred Allen

#become #being #celebrity #dark #glasses

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. ↗

— Fred Allen

#about #anything #i #know

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. ↗

— Fred Allen

#actor #boy #expectancy #fleeting #gas

It is vital that the United States maintains open lines of communication with our allies. We must assure them of our commitment to eradicating global terrorism wherever it may reside or wherever it's given haven. ↗

— George Allen

#assure #commitment #communication #eradicating #given

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt. ↗

— Fred Allen

#form #income #income tax #laundry #like

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. ↗

— James Allen

#director #discovers #his #later #man

Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day. ↗

— George Allen, Sr.

#best #best part #day #early #get

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. ↗

— Fred Allen

#bad #competition #good #good actor #great

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. ↗

— Fred Allen

#been #comedian #comedy #compelled #compete

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. ↗

— Gracie Allen

#half #i #i was born #surprised #talk