#or

You're judging her by her literacy," Tara says. "You're a literacist." "You've made that up. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor

Watch out. Bras are often booby-trapped. ↗

— Tiffany Reisz

#humor #humor

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#captain-short #eight #eoin-colfer #holly-short #humor

You can't fix stupid! ↗

— Ron White

#humor

Jesus. He could see the headlines now. Aliens Among Us. Run! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

[Stephanie] That's not the point. I can't just let monkeys loose in Trenton. [Lula] Why not? There's all kinds of crazy shit loose in Trenton. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#new-jersey #humor

You probably love to tell kids to get off your lawn, too. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#leila #humor

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #netherworld #humor

Please tell me you're Republicans. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#republican #humor

Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.” Sophie + Archer ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor