#or

Check it out-this is a copy of a painting of a Greek High Priestess named Calliope. it says she was also the Poet Laureate after Sappho. Doesn't she look exactly like Cher?' Wow, that's insane. She does look just like young Cher,' Erin said. Yeah, before she started wearing those white wigs. What the hell's up with that?' Shaunee said. Damien gave the Twins a look. 'There is nothing wrong with Cher. Absolutely. Nothing.' Uh-oh,' Shaunee said. Stepped on a gay nerve,' Erin agreed. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#vampire #humor

A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans? ↗

— Roald Dahl

#children-s #farting #friendly #gas #giant

It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads? ↗

— Jennifer Egan

#humor #war-crimes #humor

I'm not bossy - I just happen to be more capable than most everyone else. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#capable #humor #humor

There's a meeting in Command. Disregard your current schedule,' he says. 'Done,' I say. 'Did you follow it at all today?' he asks in exasperation. 'Who knows? I'm mentally disoriented.' I hold up my wrist to show my medical bracelet and realize it's gone. 'See? I can't even remember they took my bracelet.' (Katniss and Boggs) ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#friendship

Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#librarians #humor

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway! ↗

— Graham Chapman

#movies #humor

God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I'm being this stupid! (Ron) ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor