#or

Adele was in everybody’s wish list, and her list of Romeos was nearly as long as the Yellow Pages. Some witty person had suggested that her family needed a system of traffic lights to avoid fatal crashes for the men in her life. ↗

— Olga Núñez Miret

#family

Wyoming, to Annie, was represented by a blank, bleak space in her imagination. It was a place she could hide. The worst that could happen would be that she would sleep with Daniel and then get eaten by a wolf. She could live with that. ↗

— Kevin Wilson

#family

I've always regarded it as a test of character to dislike the Kennedys. I don't really respect anyone who falls for Camelot. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#camelot #character #gore-vidal #kennedy-family #united-states

The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. It would burst wouldn't it? Okay, now imagine those thumbs weren't thumbs but thumb-shaped pieces of bad news. And there weren't two of them, they were about half a dozen. Imagine you were forcing all six pieces of bad news - a divorce, multiple career snubs, accusations from the family of a dead celebrity, estranged kids, borderline homelessness, that kind of thing - into a piece of tofu. With me? Good. Now imagine it's not tofu, but a human brain. And they're not pieces of bad news but six human thumbs. That's what happened to me. In 2001, my brain had half a dozen thumbs pushed into it. ↗

— Alan Partridge

#family

LUKE: I didn’t know I ever had a grandfather. JESSICA: I am surprised you never inquired whether you should. Having a grandfather is an excellent way to establish a legacy for oneself. LUKE: In that case, I’d like five grandfathers. JESSICA: In due time. Grandfathers don’t grow on family trees. They require convincing documentation and consistent memories of wisdom and inspiration. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #grandfathers #humor #family

The talked about their messed-up, dysfunctional families, carefully respecting boundaries, never probing too deep in any one sitting. And they always ended up laughing. Even when the subject matter was intense or macabre, Henry’s sick and twisted and often politically incorrect sense of humor was infectious…Gloria laughed more in these first weeks at Oxford then she remembered laughing almost anywhere. ↗

— Andrea Kayne Kaufman

#oxford-messed-up #poetry #van-morrison #family

Commitment and family were important decisions, but so were matters of t he heart. [Monique] might not know much about politics, but she knew she couldn’t command her heart to love. And she’d never be pressured into giving herself to Eero, not to appease her family or to strengthen her brother’s political position. She’d seen all she cared to of him and his power in the short week that he pursued her and that night he’d tried to bind their powers without her consent. ↗

— Constance Phillips

#fairyproof #keiran #monique #paranormal-romance #family

Words can't fix my life. Words can't give me a family. Words can't do jack. You may be a teacher, Ms. Leone, but face it: You don't know squat. ↗

— Wendelin Van Draanen

#words #family

scraps of love torn and tattered faded, scattered trashed threads of hope frayed and tangled broken, mangled dashed backing, buttons yarn and batting quilted tenderly wrapped up in this warm repair my patchwork family ↗

— Wendelin Van Draanen

#family

Patronymics were only added to a family heritage to obtain a dowry. Families kept one and squandered the other, but in the wrong order. ↗

— Bauvard

#family #funny #humor #patronymics #family