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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #or




I think it's a rule that it's socially acceptable to wet yourself when aliens enter your mind for the first time. If it wasn't already, it is now.


Orson Scott Card


#humor #xenology #humor

He usually gets what he wants. And what he wants is to keep you safe. He really cares about you, you know.” Her chest constricted with a strange combination of pleasure and pain. She tried to cover her emotions with a playful shrug. “Well, of course he does—I mean, what’s not to like? I make incredibly bad, impulsive decisions. Plus, I’m lame, scarred, and crazy—the whole package.


Kathryn Knight


#humor #kathryn-knight #humor

Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up.


Ridley Pearson


#humorous #inspirational #keepers #humor

The others can’t see me,” said the little ghost. “I know,” I said. “My name’s Gwyneth. What’s yours?” “Dr. White to you,” said Dr. White. “I’m Robert,” said the ghost. “That’s a very nice name,” I said. “Thank you,” said Dr. White. “I’ll return the compliment by saying you have very nice veins.


Kerstin Gier


#humor #humor

Whoever this man was, he seemed to have less life than anyone in the cemetery. Above or below ground.


Anthony Horowitz


#humor

I hate those TV shows where characters talk about one thing, such as their patient on the operation table (let's say they're a doctor), then you realize they're actually talking about actually talking about themselves. The patient's open-heart surgery is nothing compared to their own messed-up heart or whatever. It's selfish. And means they're not concentrating, which is medical negligence.


Jaclyn Moriarty


#tv-show-doctors #humor

Watch out for that pedestrian! It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking!


Neil Gaiman


#humor

Patch: Y ademas hueles bien Nora: Se llama duchars. Utilizas jabón, champú y agua caliente. Patch:b Y te desnudas, conozco el ejercicio.


Becca Fitzpatrick


#love #sexy-humor #humor

Suddenly, I saw ocean again—then another horizon line—but this time the deep blue sky was on the wrong side of the line…the Holy crap, we’re upside down side.


M.A. George


#humor #paranormal-romance #upside-down #humor

He talked to himself because there weren't many people as learned as he, and he liked to talk to learned people.


Frank Beddor


#talking-to-oneself #humor






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