#or

The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they're called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – " "Plumbers?" " – exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #plumber #weasley #humor

Katsa and Po were trying to drown each other and, judging from their hoots of laughter, enjoying it immensely. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor #katsa #po #humor

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it. ↗

— Ally Carter

#library #humor

I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown." Jace said. "Brown?" said Isabelle. "Yes. Brown. It's a manly color. See? Alec is wearing it." Jace said. "Well, it was black but it faded." Alec said. "Well, I can always fix it up with something sparkly," Magnus said, holding a sparkley headband. "Resist the urge, Alec, resist the urge." Simon said. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humor

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, there's a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopediea Brittannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more 'numinous' than the Ressurection. Do they know how to have a good time, or don't they? ↗

— Carl Sagan

#nerds #religion #science #humor

As he fell toward the highway, a horrible scenario flashed through his mind: his body smashing against an SUV's windshield, some annoyed commuter trying to push him off with the wipers. "Stupid 16-year-old kid falling from the sky! I'm late! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

What's this about?" "Finally. Interest," was the only response. "If this is one of your tricks..." Like the time Torin had ordered hundreds of blow-up dolls and placed them throughout the fortress, all because Paris had foolishly complained about the lack of female companionship in town. The plastic "ladies" had stared our from every corner, their wide eyes and let-me-suck-you mouths taunting everyone who passed them. Things like that happened when Torin was bored. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #pranks #humor

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #kids #storm_front #humor

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out." Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy. Dang, I'm good. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maximum-ride #maxride #humor