#or

You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time." Thank you. Do you want something? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

He was Apollo, God of Light, Music, and Healing, an immortal who had lived for eons and about whom stories and poems had been written. But he was also wretchedly carsick. ↗

— P. C. Cast

#humor #p-c-cast #humor

How many black holes have we been up close and personal with?" Kosta countered. "All sorts of odd things happen near the event horizon, from huge tidal forces to variations in time. Personally, I'm voting on it having to do with gravity, either a polarization of the fields themselves or else something related to the time differential." I didn't know physics had become a democracy," Hanan murmered. ↗

— Timothy Zahn

#humor #timothy-zahn #humor

My heart is pure as the driven slush. ↗

— Tallulah Bankhead

#humor #humor

Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one. ↗

— Rich Burlew

#humor

Profesi suami yang paling baik bagi wanita adalah arkeolog. Karena semakin tua si wanita, suami akan semakin tertarik kepadanya. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#humor

People don't know how chickens can turn on you, but they can -- just like mad dogs. ↗

— Mary Ann Shaffer

#humor #humor

Three cheers for Sheriff Wilson. - Bucky Dideron ↗

— Annette Curtis Klause

#humor

Holy fu-" he starts then catches himself."Yes,this tithe will be most pleasing to her Goodness." Me and Magnus exchange amused glances. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#paranormal #romance #humor

You poor lonely boy,' she cried, 'it's so dreadful for you to have no parents.' Well, as my mother was a whore, and my father a drunk, I daresay I don't miss much. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#humor