#or

But it is clear to me that our survival—both yours and mine—will be dictated by how well you and I can work together.” “So we’re screwed? ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

hi, puppy." she's not a puppy. She's a girl," Nancy's mother says. Nancy pats me and says, "Good puppy. Nice puppy." When he mother bends down to pull her away, she wraps both arms around my legs and wails. "No! My puppy! ↗

— Lauren Myracle

#humor

Don't criticize me while I criticize other people. ↗

— Stephen Proskauer

#humor #humor

Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #humor

When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#humor

I’m not going,” he said. He held up the Third key like a weapon. Sensing his mood, it grew longer and sharper, till he was holding a trident as long as he was tall... “And anyone who tries to make me is going to suffer.” “Twice,” added the voice under the table. ↗

— Garth Nix

#humor #young-adult #humor

For thirty minutes I sat back and felt the glimmer of pride that historically precedes the most catastrophic falls. ↗

— Antony John

#humor #pride #humor

This country would get along much better if people learned how to suffer in silence. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

This continent, an open palm spread frank before the sky. ↗

— James Agee

#continent #frank #open #palm #sky

Don't listen to writers. They're messed up - that's why they're writers! ↗