#or

You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way. - Breeze ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#remaining-silent #reticence #humor

Leo frowned at the giant's spire. "Can't we blow it up or something?" "Without me, you do not have the power," Hera said. "You might as well try to destroy a mountain." "Done that once today," Jason said. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

SADNESS OF THE INTELLECT: Sadness of being misunderstood [sic]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds, Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness... ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#humor

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #mortal-instruments #humor

How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#brain #humor #thinking #humor

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ↗

— George Carlin

#caterpillars #humor #injustice #work #humor

I think they were afraid that some of us would try to kill ourselves or something because they looked very tense and one of them kept touching his beard. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#humor

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have. For instance, if you wake up to the sound of twittering birds, and find yourself in an enormous canopy bed, with a butler standing next to you holding a breakfast of freshly made muffins and hand-squeezed orange juice on a silver tray, you will know that your day will be a splendid one. If you wake up to the sound of church bells, and find yourself in a fairly big regular bed, with a butler standing next to you holding a breakfast of hot tea and toast on a plate, you will know that your day will be O.K. And if you wake up to the sound of somebody banging two metal pots together, and find yourself in a small bunk bed, with a nasty foreman standing in the doorway holding no breakfast at all, you will know that your day will be horrid. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#mornings #humor

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on. ↗

— Mike Royko

#humor #humor