#or

Never mind, never mind, let's get to the part where we smite the unrighteous. I've brought my most alarming teeth! ↗

Hiking with your feelings exposed to the sun might give you heartburn. And even if you protect yourself by going on midnight strolls, you could trip over your high expectations in the dark. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #heartburn #hiking #humor #walking

Sam LeClaire was a good-looking son of a bitch. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#opening-sentence #humor

Escrevo para ver se acontece alguma coisa, os medievais estavam certos: o mundo é chato. ↗

— Filipe Russo

#humor #tédio #humor

An Angry female catawyld? Conquered. An outraged female dragon? Defeated. A woman who might pin him to the wall with green-eyed fury? Out of the question. ↗

— Nicole Sager

#humor #nicole-sager #humor

Memory, in my opinion, is a complete noodle. It hangs on the silliest things but forgets the stuff that really matters. ↗

— Ellen Potter

#humor

Knock-knock, motherfucker. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor

If you don't stop I'll give YOU a SMACKINTOSH! ↗

— Kristina Fedorov Sofia Fedorov

#mackintosh #siblings #humor

Đàn bà trên bốn mươi luôn ẩn chứa những phẩm chất ma quái. ↗