#orr

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #celebration #despair #funny #humor

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? ↗

— George Deacon

#god #humor #power #religion #humor

Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#horror #trivia #humor

But sometimes, in tight corners, when your back is against the wall and the world is against you, you have to fight back in unexpected ways. ↗

— Caroline B. Cooney

#young-adult #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-horror #young-adult-fiction

What is a monster? Something that grows hair all over and howls? Could be. But the real monster is within, and when it comes out, it’s as fugly as you see it, or as it lets you see it. ↗

— John Vamvas Olga Montes

#horror #thriller #young-adult-fiction #thriller

This was to be my last trip. Sailing great distances was dangerous, and not very profitable in today's world. I walked down the worn wooden step to the captain's cabin, the creaking of the ship keeping time with my steps. Opening the door I found him bent over an old map. "Where are we captain?" I asked, hoping it was close to home. "See this spot, where it says "Here there be monsters"?" he said pointing to an image of a horrid beast. "Certainly, but you and I both know such creatures don't exist!!" The captain laughed, and looking up at me with an evil glint in his eye said, "Who's talking about sea monsters?". As he spoke the skin from one corner of his mouth fell loose, exposing a yellow reptilian skin beneath. "What?" I yelled, and as I turned to run for the cabin door I heard screams and loud moans coming from the deck, and the crew quarters below. I felt fetid breath on the back of my neck, "Aye matey, here there be monsters ↗

— Neil Leckman

#home