#our

Got to say, dying would really wreck my best day. Been there, done that, and now that I think about it, Artemis forgot to give me the t-shirt. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell ↗

— Philip Henry Sheridan

#hell #humor #humour #philip-h-sheridan #texas

The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year. ↗

— Steven Wright

#tourist #humor

I get so high when you're with me then crash and crave you when you leave ↗

— Ke$ha

#kesha #my-drug #your-love #love

It is far. But there is no journey upon this earth that a man may not make if he sets his heart to it. There is nothing, Umbopa, that he cannot do, there are no mountains he may not climb, there are no deserts he cannot cross; save a mountain and a a desert of which you are spared the knowledge, if love leads him and he holds his life in his hand counting it as nothing, ready to keep it or to lose it as Providence may order. ↗

— H. Rider Haggard

#love #perseverance #providence #quest #life

Time goes on crutches till love have all his rites. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#hurry #impatience #love #time #love

I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully. ↗

— George W. Bush

#dumb #fish #gaffe #george-bush #human

He awoke at six, as usual. He needed no alarm clock. He was already comprehensively alarmed. ↗

— Martin Amis

#humour #humor

I've just vowed my love for you. Have you nothing to say in return?" Duncan asked. "Thank you, husband. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance #humor

The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #humor