#ow

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#get #how #i #irons #notice

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#had #i #out #prescription #ran

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. ↗

— Steven Wright

#fast #get #going #harmonica #i

How young can you die of old age? ↗

— Steven Wright

#die #how #old #old age #you

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#deja #deja vu #having #i #now

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#bought #i #instant #know #one time

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#glasses #i #out #prescription #ran

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." ↗

— Steven Wright

#bank #borrow #buy #cup #going

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. ↗

— Steven Wright

#department store #people #power #store #trapped

The desire to fly is an idea handed down to us by our ancestors who... looked enviously on the birds soaring freely through space... on the infinite highway of the air. ↗

— Wilbur Wright

#ancestors #birds #desire #down #fly