#ox

Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#paradox #procrastination #humor

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#paradox #religion #humor

I am Dead, but it's not so bad. I've learned to live with it. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#humor #paradox #humor

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog. "Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood. With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#fairies #humor #intoxication #sookie-stackhouse #vampires

Ow! My brains! ↗

— Douglas Adams

#zaphod-beeblebrox #humor

Don't you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time? (Anne) ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#paradox #humor

When we talk to our fellow men and they tell us about their troubles, we will listen to them carefully if we have love for them. We will have compassion for their suffering and pain, for we are God's creatures; we are a manifestation of the love of God. ↗

— Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

#compassion #council #eastern-orthodoxy #god-s-love #love

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

Humor and paradox are often the only ways to respond to life's sorrow with grace. ↗

— Matthew Fox

#grace #humor #paradox #humor

What is this? Some sort of galactic hyperhearse? ↗

— Douglas Adams

#zaphod-beeblebrox #humor