#pin

Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#fans #funny-but-true #opinions #funny

I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cat #cats #clean #floor #funny

Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#helping-hand #reaching-out #richelle #richelle-goodrich #funny

Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better off without them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gossiping #humor #neighbors #voyeurism

Mass narcolepsy is one of the more fortunate side effects of profundity. It ensures everyone will have a singular awareness of life that won’t overlap with yours. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #narcolepsy #profundity #sleeping #funny

Evie: "No way!" I yelled, taking it from him. Bud: "I can't believe I made a pink knife." Evie: "It's so cute! I love it. Finally, a companion worthy of Tasey. ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #funny #pink-knife #tasey #funny

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing

I did not approve of your action—I was merely congratulating myself. What you mistook for clapping was merely me giving myself multiple high fives.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#applaud #applause #approve #clap #clapping

If you can't argue properly, how can you ever come to a decision when you flip a coin? One side always has some butthead on it, and the reverse bears a lofty representation. Whichever case you make for your side, you can't afford to leave something like that to chance. ↗

— Bauvard

#chance #coin-flipping #funny #humor #probability