#ps

It ain't locked, till it's checked! ↗

— Angelo N. Dallas

#family

For someone who is supposed to be a knight in shining armor, you're acting like an ass in aluminum foil. ↗

— Lisa Logue

#love #relationships #humor

You are a sick, sick man,” I told him. “Thank you,” Ben replied, looking modest. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #sarcasm #silver-borne #humor

Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure? ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Men are men, mortal or not. ↗

— K.C. Randall

#humor-relationships #humor

It's all right, darling. I'll finish the financial report on my own. I can think clearly before sex and stay awake afterwards. That's one of the nice things about being a woman. ↗

— Barbara Taylor Bradford

#may-december-relationships #humor

You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? - Medicine. ↗

— Tim Minchin

#humor #pseudoscience #quackery #scepticism #humor

One minute she acts like she wants to be with me and I'm the one rejecting her. The next, she's got this barbed wire fence and barking dogs around her, like I can't even ask her the simplest questions." "And here I was assuming you didn't care about her." Stabbing his fingers through his hair, he groaned, "I don't!" "And you make it perfectly clear." Men. Idiots. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love #men-and-women #relationships #humor

Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of not going to prom with me? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#humor #prom #relationships #humor

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face ↗

— Sherry Argov

#love #relationships #humor