#r

See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!" "Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #morganville-vampires #shane-collins #humor

I’m half Italian.” “Which half?” the words were out before Tessa could stop them. Was she flirting with him? She never flirted with men. His lips curved in a slow, sexy smile that made her heart trip. “From the waist down. ↗

— Pamela Clare

#tessa-humor #humor

I'm told I have the body of a god." "A Greek god, or one of those gods with the horse heads or elephant's legs coming out of their chests?" Alan asked. "Next time someone tells you that, ask them to specify. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor #teasing #humor

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #quirky #humor

And Daniel?" She asked. "Daniel was a player-" "Hey!" "That's what they called the actors." Bill rolled his eyes. ↗

— Lauren Kate

#humor #humor

Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out of his wits just for the fun of it. --Laurie ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#humor

Tessa: I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?" Will: "I've never swum naked in the Thames, but I know I wouldn't like it." "But think how entertaining for sightseers," said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa #will #humor

If I was made of cake I'd eat myself before somebody else could. ↗

— Emma Donoghue

#child #humor #self #humor

I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Jace snorted so loudly that she turned on him with a frown. He wiggled his mud-caked fingers at her. His nails were black crescents. "Filthy inside and out. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #humor #jace #mortal-instruments #humor