#ra

Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is originally from Iceland, you're confronted with the archetypal origin of the term, and you shouldn't be surprised if your core body temperature drops a few degrees. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor #humor

I thought of several alec smart remarks, but you should humor crazy people when you're at their mercy; it's a rule. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#chimera #narcissus-in-chains #humor

Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum." I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?" "Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?" "You're redundant," I said. ↗

— Lish McBride

#paranormal-fiction #young-adult #humor

Individuality: ten. Cautiousness: three. Combativeness: nine." She looked over and gave me a wink. "Well, what did you expect from a pirate's daughter? Hope: eight. Amativeness. What's that?" Kate acutally blushed. "I think it has something to do with your attractiveness to the opposite sex." "Ten," said Nadira, smiling modestly. (Skybreaker by Kenneth Oppel) ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#humour #nadira #skybreaker #humor

Go play your games with Jim. I'll find you both when I need you." Arrogant asshole. "I tell you what, if you find us before those three days run out, I'll cook you a damn dinner and serve it to you naked." "Is that a promise?" "Yes. Go fuck yourself. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#flirting #humor #kate-daniels #magic-strikes #humor

You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how men think, and you'll always be wrong. That's because they're so much simpler than we are. They don't think half the time. They just want what they want and then go for it. ↗

— Kim Gatlin

#humor

Random chance is not sufficient to explain random chance. ~Jubal Harshaw ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#evolution #humor #ingenious-statements #random-chance #humor

I do not know if all cops are poets, but I know that all cops carry guns with triggers. ↗

— Ralph Ellison

#fiction #humor #rsas #humor

Sometimes you have to give something up to get something better. ↗

— Miranda Kenneally

#inspirational

Come on, Eden, don't be naive. Demonic children are a dime a dozen in Netherworld. Need I mention Children of the Corn? Damien? Justine Bieber? ↗