#ran

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

Caine met Diana's disbelieving gaze and laughed aloud. "Why so gloomy? Doesn't every little girl want to grow up to be a queen?" "Princess," Diana said. "So, you got a promotion," Caine said. ↗

— Michael Grant

#diana #gone #humor #michael-grant #plague

His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #strange #surreal #funny

Rose took my nose, I suppose,” he repeated; the bubble of phlegm in his throat made a disgusting crackle. “And it really blows. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #humour #rose-took-my-nose #the-scorch-trials #humor

I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit." Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend." "Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap. ↗

— Michael Grant

#gone #humor #michael-grant #plague #humor

Taking a deep breath that smelled of rain, she was poised to move when a hand clasped her elbow. Memories of another hand grabbing her sent panic shooting through her veins. She swung around. "Whoa. You okay?" Lucas lightened his clasp around her arm. Kylie caught her breath and stared up at the werewolf's blue eyes. "Yeah. You just...surprised me. You need to whistle when you come up on me. ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humor #kylie #lucas #paranormal #taken-at-dusk

Well. I think it's safe to say that, in my absence, the power grabbing and backstabbing and political intrigue has officially reached an all-time Otherworld high. ↗

— Lesley Livingston

#humor #unseelie #wondrous-strange #humor

Oh my!! How you've grown. Soon you'll be catching the Lord's balls. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#humor #memoir #young_adult #humor

Be nice. And if you can't do that, just don't be mean. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#love #nice #richelle #richelle-goodrich #self-control

A king without a Queen." Kian sighed, breathing mist into the air. He held me tighter, kissing me with a heat that seemed to thaw the very snow on which we stood. "You don't know me as well as you think you do," he said. "What I'm holding back. What I'm capable of. You haven't felt it - how much I love you... ↗

— Kailin Gow

#love