#ran

Isn't it funny how ignorance is the source of strength of so many? ↗

— Lionel Suggs

#strength #funny

Graves leaned forward, eyeing me. “Hey, Dru. You were French-kissing a winged snake. Creeptastic. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#paranormal #ya #funny

A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. ↗

— Erin Dionne

#funny

She ought to call him Benjamin, but it was too intimate, too soft. "My lord?" she ventured, only half serious. "Good, God, no." She bit back a smile. "Husband?" she took a sip of wine. He grunted. "Are we to become Quakers? ↗

— Kristen Callihan

#benjamin #firelight #funny #miranda #names

I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sporting limitations and its proscriptions against dishonorable engagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to kill men with a sword. ↗

— Scott Lynch

#gentleman #killing #prancing #swords #art

A blanket could be made of tuna fish skin, which would go well with my cottage cheese thighs.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control reality by purely material means... airline insurance replaces the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash. ↗

— Cecil Beaton

#airline #belief #cash #comforting #control

He looked up at Stig and Hal. 'Told you this one was a keeper.' Lydia flushed as the two boys smiled. 'Shut up. You make sure you do your stuff with those two overgrown dinner bowls you call shields. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny