#rand

What if a pair of us head off on our own?" Nollin proposed, panting. "A small detachment might avoid detection." "It's a gamble," Ferrin said. "If the duo gets noticed, they'll be defenseless. Who'd you have in mind?" "Some key delegates," Nollin said. "Perhaps myself and Aram." Rachel shook her head. Evidently, Nollin had noticed the critical role Aram had played during the escape. Ferrin laughed openly. "Aram, you've been promoted to essential!" "I'm generally more appreciated at night," the big man grumbled. "I'm going to the table, Nollin." "Maybe we should all remain together," Nollin repented. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

Not that I lack confidence in the outcome," Ferrin said, "but would you consider entrusting the piece of my neck to somebody who is not about to confront one of the most deadly beings in the world? ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

(LuAnn) Whatever. That'll teach me not to build my life around a man whose favorite book is Atlas Shrugged. Listen, kid." She waggles her finger, as if scolding me. "Nothing good comes from Ayn RAnd. Trust me on this. ↗

— Abby McDonald

#humor #humor

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots! ↗

— Michael Landon

#got #grandkids #i #kids #nine

Your uniqueness is your greatest strength, not how well you emulate others. ↗

— Simon S. Tam

#api #asian #asian-american #branding #business

He'd just called Shawn a bottom, though, and Shawn looked pissed. Call Remy a bottom and he would jump you and let you screw his brains out. Call Thiago a bottom and he would look at you for five minutes, shrug, and the go about his business. Call Nikolaus a bottom and he might cry. Call Brandt a bottom and you might get a blowjob, you might just get blown up. But call Shawn a bottom? Carl supposed he was about to find out what happened when you called Shawn a bottom. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#carl #nikolaus #remy #shawn #thiago

Hasn’t stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I’d still be mad at you, or if we would talk in words or pictures. Maybe in smells. That would be cool.” -Janco ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#afterlife-speculation #funny-and-random #funny-but-true #funny-quotes #humor

I loved Granny Belmonte, but she didn't need a costume to look undead. ↗

— Bethany Frenette

#humor #undead #humor

My grandfather, along with Carnegie, was a pioneer in philanthropy, which my father then practiced on a very large scale. ↗

— David Rockefeller

#along #carnegie #father #grandfather #large

How funny are dogs? ↗

— John Marsden

#funny