#rand

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

Oh my!! How you've grown. Soon you'll be catching the Lord's balls. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#humor #memoir #young_adult #humor

Are you watching the boats?" Cornelia guessed. She craned her neck to see if there was any excitement on the river. Heavens no, I'm spying on people," Virginia responded unrepentantly. -Cornelia E and Virginia Somerset ↗

— Lesley M.M. Blume

#blume #boats #cornelia #escapades #humor

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

What if a pair of us head off on our own?" Nollin proposed, panting. "A small detachment might avoid detection." "It's a gamble," Ferrin said. "If the duo gets noticed, they'll be defenseless. Who'd you have in mind?" "Some key delegates," Nollin said. "Perhaps myself and Aram." Rachel shook her head. Evidently, Nollin had noticed the critical role Aram had played during the escape. Ferrin laughed openly. "Aram, you've been promoted to essential!" "I'm generally more appreciated at night," the big man grumbled. "I'm going to the table, Nollin." "Maybe we should all remain together," Nollin repented. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

Not that I lack confidence in the outcome," Ferrin said, "but would you consider entrusting the piece of my neck to somebody who is not about to confront one of the most deadly beings in the world? ↗

— Brandon Mull

#brandon #humor #mull #rebellion #seeds

(LuAnn) Whatever. That'll teach me not to build my life around a man whose favorite book is Atlas Shrugged. Listen, kid." She waggles her finger, as if scolding me. "Nothing good comes from Ayn RAnd. Trust me on this. ↗

— Abby McDonald

#humor #humor

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots! ↗

— Michael Landon

#got #grandkids #i #kids #nine

Your uniqueness is your greatest strength, not how well you emulate others. ↗

— Simon S. Tam

#api #asian #asian-american #branding #business