#range

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor

Just because it makes no sense doesn't mean it's not good advice. ↗

— Mick Farren

#strange #humor

Over-reliance on strictly economic justifications has already begun to hurt the quality and range of education at every level of American life. ↗

— Charles Vest

#american #american life #begun #economic #education

I’d put a banana on my tray, too. That, at least, didn’t remind me of anything trying to kill me. Could you kill someone with a banana? It didn’t seem possible. Maybe a possessed banana. I’d seen possessed pets before, but not possessed fruit. But I’ll bet it’s out there somewhere. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #strange-angels #humor

You should have told her differently,' said Hermione, still with that maddeningly patient air. 'You should have said it was really annoying, but I'd made you promise to come along to the Three Broomsticks, and you really didn't want to go, you'd much rather spend the whole day with her, but unfortunately you thought you really ought to meet me and would she please, please come along with you, and hopefully you'd be able to get away more quickly? And it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think I am too,' Hermione added as an afterthought. 'But I don't think you're ugly,' said Harry, bemused. Hermione laughed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #hermione-granger #humor #order-of-the-phoenix #humor

Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #humor

And those hard slovos, brothers, were like the beginning of my freedom. ↗

— Anthony Burgess

#burgess #clockwork-orange #inspirational #freedom

Gates is the ultimate programming machine. He believes everything can be defined, examined, reduced to essentials, and rearranged into a logical sequence that will achieve a particular goal. ↗

— Stewart Alsop

#achieve #believes #defined #essentials #everything

Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army." I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out. My mother froze, her fork poised in midair. That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life." I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #ranger #sobriquet #humor