#red

So the captain, the first officer and the ship's doctor and sometimes the engineer all beam down to a planet. Together." "The entire complement of the senior officers?" Billy nodded "And who has the command of the ship?" "I don't know. Junior officers I guess." "If they worked for me I would have them court-martialed. That sounds like a dereliction of duty." "I know. I know. I always thought it odd myself. But that's not the point." "What is the point?" "They're usually accompanied by a guy in the red shirt. Always a crew member you've never seen before. And as soon as you see the shirt, you know he's going to die. ↗

— Michael Scott

#red-shirts #star-trek #the-enchantress #humor

My love is made out of three things: the dawn, the sunrise, and redundancy. I poured you two glasses, which can easily and efficiently be drunk out of one cup. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #efficient #humor #love #redundancy

From where I’m sitting, I AM the centre of the Universe! ↗

— Sebastyne Young

#narcissism #self-centered #humor

I never understood why you would ever feel the need to shoot the fish in the barrel. I mean, they're in a barrel, you've already caught them. The hard work's done, they can't escape. So if you want them dead, just drain the water out. Why bring guns into it? ↗

— Craig Silvey

#humor #redundancy #humor

But what would they have said to their Liaison? It’s like this, Meg. We didn’t like that Asia Crane, so we ate her. When dealing with humans, honesty isn’t always the best policy, Vlad thought ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor #predator #prey #vampires #humor

Hatred is always at war with love that keeps growing. ↗

— Toba Beta

#hatred #love #war #love

Wie es scheint, schmilzt die Frühlingssonne den harten Eispanzer des Barbarenhäuptlings, und, o Wunder, darunter kommt ein Philisoph zum Vorschein." "Ich weiß nicht was Vielosoof für eine Beleidigung ist, aber du kannst dir sicher sein, dass der Barbarenhäuptling dir gleich die Axt in den Rachen schiebt!" Ollowain schlang die Arme übereinander und tat, als zittere er. "So plötzlich kehrt der Winter zurück und lässt die schönsten Frühlingsblüten erfrieren." "Hast du mich gerade etwa mit Blüten verglichen?", grollte Mandred. "Nur eine Allegorie, mein Freund." Der Menschensohn runzelte die Stirn. Dann nickte er. "Ich nehme deine Entschuldigung an, Ollowain." Nuramon musste sich auf die Unterlippe beißen, um nicht laut loszulachen. ↗

— Bernhard Hennen

#hennen #humor #mandred #nuramon #ollowain

Thank you very Much, I enjoyed myself ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#self-esteem #self-inspired #humor

He punched me in the face," Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. "And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer!" "I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people," Jared said with beautiful simplicity. "Ash looked so surprised," Holly said. "He had no idea what was going on. He said, 'I didn't sleep with our personal trainer! We don't even have a personal trainer!'" Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. "In that case," he told Ash solemnly, "I will consider taking you back. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ash #break-ups #cousins #distractions #holly

When you visualized a man or a woman carefully, you could always begin to feel pity . . . that was a quality God's image carried with it . . . when you saw the lines at the corners of the eyes, the shape of the mouth, how the hair grew, it was impossible to hate. Hate was just a failure of imagination. ↗

— Graham Greene

#hatred #imagination #imagination