#relatio

either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z ↗

— Jay-Z

#humor

Trolls have a longstanding animosity for goats--"Who's that trip-tapping across my bridge!?"--and this led me to think that perhaps trolls are related to goats, since it seems a lot more plausible to me that your relatives would make you insane than some random hooved mammal, however ecologically destructive it might be. What if trolls evolved from goats? Or, no, better yet, what if goats evolved from trolls? Or were domesticated from trolls by human shepherds? And the trolls despise their domesticated cousins as a disgrace to the once-proud troll race, (much as I assume wolves would despise Chihuahuas if they ever gave them much thought) and eat them at every opportunity. ↗

— Ursula Vernon

#humor #relations #family

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner." He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#insults #men-and-women #relationships #humor

You‟re my mate. Think you can handle that?” It was hard to speak with her heart bursting open. “Think you can handle me?” “So long as you're gentle with me.”" Emmett to Ria - Whisper of sin ↗

— Nalini Singh

#love #nalini-singh #humor

I thought about the difference between a mama's girl and a daddy's girl. I decided that a daughter who belongs to her daddy expects gifts, while a daughter who belongs to her mama expects a lot more. Not from her mama. From herself. ↗

— Victoria Bond

#wisdom #humor

I suffer for birds and fireflies but not frogs, she said, and threw him across the room. Kaboom! Like a genie out of a samovar, a handsome prince arose in the corner of the bedroom. ↗

— Anne Sexton

#humor

You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor

Hi honey, I’m home! Take your pants off!” Wesley announced. He kissed my cheek as he passed me and put his lunch container in the sink. ↗

— J.M. Colail

#humor #lgbt #relationship #sex #humor

He offered her power, money, status... a giant prison, all in exchange for only...her soul. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#love #lovers #money #power #prison