#relatio

I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red in a series of packages that also included ransom notes. Then, towards the end of the dream, the cops surrounded my cave and swarmed in to arrest me. Sweating, my eyes shot open, and I realized it was a dream. “Of course it’s a dream,” I thought. “The cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.”
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

If he or she doesn't see or respect your present value nor your future dream the moment you connected there is little or no chance that he or she will do in future. ↗

— Bernard Kelvin Clive

#relationship #respecting-others #dreams

I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m's. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were naked, and you had the body of a mannequin, with the face of a politician. And as I gazed at you, I couldn’t tell which of the two was more phony—the real fake of your body, or the fake real of your face.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You glued a fake beard on a mannequin and had it running a monetary printing press nonstop, and you planned on creating dollar bills forever, or until you devalued it to the point where savings were destroyed, lives devastated, and you continued laughing all the way to the bank, which you owned.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

every session I had no fewer than sixteen girls with “allergies” to dairy and wheat—cheese and bread basically—but also to garlic, eggplant, corn, and nuts. They had cleverly developed “allergies,” I believe, to the foods they had seen their own mothers fearing and loathing as diet fads passed through their homes. I could’ve strangled their mothers for saddling these girls with the idea that food is an enemy—some of them only eight years old and already weird about wanting a piece of bread—and I would’ve liked to bludgeon them, too, for forcing me to participate in their young daughters’ fucked-up relationship with food. ↗

— Gabrielle Hamilton

#diet #dieting #fads #food #girls

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships