#religion

If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #religion #funny

Back home, my favorite part of Mass was during communion, when I'd stand at the rail and hold a little gold platter under people's chins. The pretty girls would line up for communion (I confess to Almighty God). They'd kneel (and to you my brothers and sisters), cast their eyes demurely down (I have sinned through my own fault), and stick out their tongues (in my thoughts and in my words). Their tongues would shine, reflected in the gold platter, and since the wafer was dry, the girls would maybe lick their lips (and I ask Blessed Mary ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you my brothers and sisters) before they swallowed (to pray for me to the Lord our God). It was all I could do not to pass out. ↗

— Rob Sheffield

#religion #home

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? ↗

— George Deacon

#god #humor #power #religion #humor

But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!" "Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#dog #ethics #humor #race #religion

I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying. I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy, then OK, I'm sorry. ↗

— John Lennon

#beatles #humor #humour #jesus #religion

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing. ↗

— George Carlin

#prayer #religion #humor

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god). ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#religion #humor

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste. ↗

— Mark Twain

#love

If you have to say or do something controversial, aim so that people will hate that they love it and not love that they hate it. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #controversial #controversy #debating #difference

My metaphysical thinking is more in alignment with Plato rather than Aristotle's." ~R. Alan Woods [2013] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#metaphysics #philosophical-reflection #philosophy-of-religion #plato #r-alan-woods