#religion

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #organized-religion #religion #woody-allen #humor

That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone. ↗

— Lewis Black

#damned-if-you-don-t #religion #taboo #faith

When it comes to choosing a savior, they won't settle for just a human being. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#religion #savior #faith

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon. ↗

— Sinclair Lewis

#humor #religion #humor

For myself I think that one wrong does not right the other, and forgiveness cannot be won with useless tears or alms to the Church. ↗

— José Rizal

#religion #forgiveness

Liberty a word without which all other words are vain. ↗

— Robert G. Ingersoll

#liberty #politics #religion #skepticism #freedom

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#insanity #religion #war #humor

Christians. They’re determined to rid the land of any who worship the Horned One. Murdering all the druids, burning the temples, sometimes whole villages, and knocking over the standing stones.” The Lady’s face hardened. “This god of peace and love certainly likes to bathe the land in blood. ↗

— Brom

#dark-fantasy #fantasy #religion #urban-fantasy #love

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes. ↗

— John Green

#homophobia #homosexuality #humor #picnic-tables #religion

You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with. ↗

— George Carlin

#joe-pesci #prayer #religion #humor