#rent

I'll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,' she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. 'I'll bake brownies. My child will have new clothes. Her shoes will fit. She'll get her shots, and she'll get her braces. We'll start a college fund next week. I'll tell her I love her every damn day.' If that wasn't a great plan for being a good mother, I couldn't imagine what a better one could be. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#imagination

I want my girls to see their relationship with me as a place of refuge, a place they can retreat to for honesty, unconditional love, and support. I want to teach them and have them trust me, not fear me. I want to preserve the gentle souls that I see in them." -Liz. M. ↗

— Hilary Flower

#love

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. ↗

— Ray Romano

#humor #parenting #humor

Little tree filled his lungs with the white airness of the night, as if he were going to fly. The living voice of his parents. Elisha's eyes. These were reasons enough to set off on another adventure. Reasons to be Toby Lolness again. ↗

— Timothée de Fombelle

#elisha #little #living #parents #reasons

In the mystifying world that was Victorian parenthood, obedience took precedence over all considerations of affection and happiness, and that odd, painful conviction remained the case in most well-heeled homes up until at least the time of the First World War. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#parenthood #victorian-era #home

My father liked me, when I wasna being an idiot. And he loved me, too -- enough to beat the daylights out of me when I was being an idiot. Jamie Fraser ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#parenting #spanking #love

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. ↗

— George Carlin

#kids #parenting #role-models #humor

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #motherhood #parenthood #parenting #humor

My parents are going to kill me!" "That seems rather harsh... ↗

— Garth Nix

#humor #paranoia #parents #humor

I never asked my mother where babies came from but I remember clearly the day she volunteered the information....my mother called me to set the table for dinner. She sat me down in the kitchen, and under the classic caveat of 'loving each other very, very much,' explained that when a man and a woman hug tightly, the man plants a seed in the woman. The seed grows into a baby. Then she sent me to the pantry to get placemats. As a direct result of this conversation, I wouldn't hug my father for two months. ↗

— Sloane Crosley

#parents #sex #humor