#ric

...with the most infinite tenderness I have ever known in my life, he put his arms around me, gently, gently, and I embraced him around the neck, and we touched... ↗

— Katherine Anne Porter

#life

It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there. ↗

— Andy Rooney

#funny #hell #funny

A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up like a wearable memory.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I am the burrito wrapped up in a blanket. Eat my warmth.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’ve got you covered. Just don’t hog all the blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to wash your hands. And after that, I’d suggest you wash out your filthy mouth. Scrub it clean, you scatological talker you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore, a lie could be used to detect a lie, and all this logic makes me want to grab a blanket and lie down—and that’s the truth. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you understand?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

You had me tied in knots. You saved Belen's life, and I wanted to kill and thank you all at the same time. And during those nights when we didn't know if you'd live or die, I went from being angry, to worried to frustrated to scared all within a single heartbeat. If you had die, I would have killed you. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#life