#rin

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary ↗

— Simon Holt

#funny #simon-holt #the-devouring #funny

I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building. Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family. ↗

— Jim Benton

#building #coloring #funny #purple #family

I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn't think I was the go-to guy for breaking and entering. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #shane #funny

Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a can of Mace in one hand and pepper spray in the other.” - Katie Jorlan's expression turned mocking. “Just in case you get any ideas, know that I’ll be sleeping with a feather in one hand and massage oil in the other. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#funny #prince #seduce #funny

Through such advanced techniques like sleeping, I started exploring the depths of me. And until you find out who you are, or stop yawning, I suggest you do the same. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #sleeping #funny

Oh, and welcome to the Three. ↗

— Erin Hunter

#funny #jayfeather #funny

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind. ↗

— Frank Cottrell Boyce

#funny #moon #funny

Stand out from the crowd, be yourself. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#cosmic-ordering #law-of-attraction #mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money

My eyes have made a pact with my ears against my vulgar senses: urination is a holiday on the edge of a soothing lemonade waterfall. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #sensation #urination #funny

Everything has a sort of double meaning for me, there's the ordinary everyday meaning of things, and the imaginary meaning about it all, and I wanted to bring these things together, and in this first big Resurrection of mine you have a good example of this sort of thing. ↗

— Stanley Spencer

#big #bring #double #double meaning #everyday