#rot

Tohr took a pull of his beer. “What the hell is this?” “When Harry Met Sally.” Tohr lowered the longneck from his mouth. “What?” “Shut it. After this, we’re going to watch an episode of Moonlighting. Then An Affair to Remember—the old-school one, not that stupidity with Warren Beatty. Then The Princess Bride—” Tohr hit the switch by his hip and straightened the chair up. “Okay. Right. Have fun with this— ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lassiter #tohrment #humor

Fine!' she snapped, the desperation to have him growing exponentially now. 'I missed you. Only you. No man could ever make me feel like you do. I'm ruined for all others. I renamed all my vibrators after you and none of them get me off like you can. Happy now?' His eyes glazed for a second. '*All* your vibrators?' -Convicted ↗

— Dee Tenorio

#humor #romance #humor

She couldn’t take her eyes from the dancing flame. No, this was so wrong. Candles should be used for meditation…for romance. Or on a birthday cake at least. So where was the cake? The present? The song? As he stepped closer to her—as the damned flame got way too close—she started singing. “Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me…” Marcus paused, looking at her in disbelief. See. I knew he didn’t have a sense of humor. “Happy birthday, dear Gabi”—she lifted her head and blew out the candle—“happy birthday to me. ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#erotica #make-me-sir #humor

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #men #poetry #humor

Watch over Honoria, will you? See that she doesn’t marry an idiot. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#friends #humor #love #humor

If my Master is lost, I'll find him. I'll lead him back to himself, because to serve doesn't always mean to follow. ↗

— Joey W. Hill

#erotica #love #master #slave #love

Sometimes I think together we are the worst kind of calamity." Thayer grinned back. Severine's lips burned. "Then I've never wanted to be destroyed so bad. ↗

— Calia Read

#every-which-way #love #relationships #severine #sloan-brothers

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots! ↗

— Michael Landon

#got #grandkids #i #kids #nine

As Amani frantically diced the ingredients for her Pan seared Mahi-Mahi with Mango Salsa, she recalled her first meeting with him during a class he taught on the presentation of food and organization the previous year. Amani had been immediately drawn to the tall, serious Californian, and not just because of his looks. With dark wavy hair, strong features and the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen short of Paul Newman’s, David Spencer was everything Amani admired in a man, and then some. http://omadisonpress.com/romance/all-... ↗

— Joanna Hynes

#interracial-romance #romance-erotic #romance-novels #food

Calm your tits, pussycat. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#erotic #funny-quotes #art