#s

These Kingsguard knights are as useless as nipples on a breastplate. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#lannister-sense-of-humor #humor

Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack ↗

— James R. Tuck

#sarcastic-humor #humor

Generally I don't care about what people say. I have to be clear with myself. When everything goes well, people celebrate you, when you make mistakes people criticize you. ↗

— Sebastian Vettel

#care #celebrate #clear #criticize #everything

I can smell the smoke now. I can see tendrils of it comin' up between the cracks in the shrikin' floorboards. There she is, calmly taking down the framed examples of fine embroideries, samplers, and needlework from teh hallway wall and tucking them under her arm. "Mistress! Come on! You've got to leave!" She calmly turns and faces me. "Why?" she asks. "The British are coming?" "Only one, Mistress," I say ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#british #humor #pirates #humor

Girls at war opt for a quieter cruelty than fistfights and drive-by shootings. Girls circumvent the corporeal and go straight for each other's souls. The bleeding is harder to stanch. ↗

— Jillian Lauren

#humor #war #humor

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#blacksmith #clothing #humor #war #humor

You must be mistaking me for someone else with silver hair. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#humor #silver #humor

That's your mom, right?" Pathik smiled. "She looks nicer than she did when she was dragging you away the other night. ↗

— Teri Hall

#mothers #pathik #teri-hall #the-line #humor

on why he writes the things he writes: "Because I have the heart of a small boy... and I keep it in a jar on my desk. ↗

— Stephen King

#on-writing #storytelling #humor

I tried to avoid looking at the dress full on, lest it burn out my retinas with its glittering hideousness. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor #humor