#s

Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open. ↗

— Judith Martin

#humor #manners #humor

Vampires, like virgins or priests, are things that women believe in. We must never fail to humor them in such matters. ↗

— Brian McNaughton

#vampires #women #humor

Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #lies #propaganda #war #humor

General fiction is pretty much about ways that people get into problems and screw their lives up. Science fiction is about everything else. ↗

— Marvin Minsky

#humor #interviews #on-fiction #science-fiction #humor

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#politics #humor

Oh for the love of God put a butt plug in the male tough-guy crap. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor

The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson this is for a young girl. If you're eating your curds and whey and a spider comes along, I don't think there's anything wrong with picking up a newspaper, smashing it, and going back to your breakfast. ↗

— Sloane Crosley

#humor

Sparhawk grinned. "If Martel finds out that he's drinking again, he'll reach down his throat and pull his heart out." "Can you actually do that to a man?" "You can if your arm's long enough, and if you know what you're looking for.[...] ↗

— David Eddings

#humor #humor

I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity. ↗

— David Sedaris

#guilt #humor #ponder #humor

Milk?” Lady Bridgerton asked. “Thank you,” Gareth replied. “No sugar, if you please.” “Hyacinth takes hers with three,” Gregory said, reaching for a piece of shortbread. “Why,” Hyacinth ground out, “would he care?” “Well,” Gregory replied, taking a bite and chewing, “he is your special friend. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #siblings #tea #humor