#s

A realist writer might break his protagonist's leg, or kill his fiancee; but a science fiction writer will immolate whole planets, and whilst doing so he will be more concerned with the placement of commas than the screams of the dying. ↗

— Adam Roberts

#sf #humor

It's just going to add to him thinking that I am a crazy, wanky, greenie, hybriddriving hippie," I complained. "Has he seen your bomb of a car?" Fran asked in disbelief. "Greenpeace arranges a protest every time it leaves your driveway. ↗

— Sean Kennedy

#humor

And if, by the end [of this book], you reckon you might still disagree with me, then I offer you this: you'll still be wrong, but you'll be wrong with a lot more panache and flair than you could possibly manage right now. ↗

— Ben Goldacre

#humor #opinion #science #humor

And now Kit’s cock—which had mostly been used for taking a leak before that moment—woke up and screamed I WANT! FEED ME ASSHOLE! And Kit had given it a good handshake until it threw up. ↗

— Amy Lane

#masturbation #nsfw #humor

Have you ever noticed that folks will say ‘Look, he has his mama’s eyes’ or ‘his daddy’s nose,’ but they never say ‘We’re so proud! Look! He’s hung just like grampa’?” - Zach McKnight ↗

— Suzie Quint

#humor

Jason is explaining the ins and outs of being a bird shifter to Merry. She says: "Sheesh. Okay, I think I only have one more question." "Shoot. No, don't shoot, but ask away." "If someday I get pregnant, will I lay eggs or have babies?" He burst out laughing and didn't stop until she hit him. ↗

— Ashlyn Chase

#paranormal #shifters #humor

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all. ↗

— Joe Hill

#sarcasm #humor

I want to write a song about one man's level of commitment called, "I'd walk to the edge of the world, just to dump your body. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #music #song #humor

Cops, I've learned, are like vampires; they can't come in unless you invite them. ↗

— Jessica Warman

#humor #vampires #humor

Just because all the rats are gone doesn't mean I trust the rattlesnake that got rid of them. ↗

— John Steiner

#social-commentary #humor