#sai

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#beat #god #i #know #make

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#every #every night #goes #i #me

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#always #day #did #eye #garbage

I never said, 'I'm going to be a big star.' I said, 'I'm going to be a good actor.' And that took the pressure off. ↗

— Jeff Daniels

#big #big star #going #good #good actor

The pressure isn't on my brain, but on my mouth. I realized Sam Malone said very little, he spoke in little sentences. Which is much more comfortable for me for some reason. ↗

— Ted Danson

#comfortable #i #little #me #more

I said the kidnapping is a crime. I have the right to speak about the crime done against me. They didn't like me to speak about this crime. So I decided to reveal it to the public. ↗

— Mordechai Vanunu

#against #crime #decided #done #i

I have always said that often the religion you were born with becomes more important to you as you see the universality of truth. ↗

— Ram Dass

#becomes #born #i #important #more

My guru said that when he suffers, it brings him closer to God. I have found this, too. ↗

— Ram Dass

#closer #found #god #guru #him

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. ↗

— Larry David

#because #being #best #best part #both

What a different world it was when I first sailed for Europe in 1930, with my mother, sister, and brother to spend six months abroad. ↗

— Gene Tierney

#brother #different #different world #europe #first