#sai

I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience that.' You just have to just go with it because it's rare. ↗

— Julianna Margulies

#experience #found #funny #go #got

I was part of the draft resistance movement in L.A. where we did demonstrations at the draft centre and burned our cards and made a lot of trouble on campus. I had a student classification and they said that anybody who'd taken part in these demonstrations would be reclassified and drafted. And that's when I went to Canada. ↗

— Cheech Marin

#burned #campus #canada #cards #centre

I don't know who said that novelists read the novels of others only to figure out how they are written. I believe it's true. We aren't satisfied with the secrets exposed on the surface of the page: we turn the book around to find the seams. ↗

— Gabriel Garcia Marquez

#believe #book #exposed #figure #find

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#christmas #early #happy #i #jesus

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#cute #does #dog #eat #feel

I wish I could get all the discourteous drivers on a ship and sail them away and make sure it's a really horrible, wavy journey and when they get to where they're going, keep them there. ↗

— Alvin Martin

#could #drivers #get #going #horrible

Kevin Keegan said if he had a blank sheet of paper, five names would be on it. ↗

— Alvin Martin

#five #had #kevin #names #paper

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#else #guy #i #i am #me

I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#asked #big #bite #does #dog

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#asked #clothing #i #into #lady