#shaving

I hate cutting my wrists while shaving ↗

— Josh Stern

#shaving-humor #wrists #humor

David and his followers taught no new doctrines, in their dispersion or when they came to power, that can be brought to countenance thee at all in shaving off thy beard. ↗

— Lord George Gordon

#brought #came #countenance #david #dispersion

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.' ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#else #every #every time #go #gonna

In a network situation, a vice president, while he's shaving, can decide your history. ↗

— Phil Donahue

#history #network #president #shaving #situation

I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks. ↗

— Barack Obama

#bed #car #driving #fruit #getting

Death leaves cans of shaving cream half-used. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#half-used #shaving-cream #death

I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff. ↗

— Chastity Bono

#birthday #got #i #i always #lot

Competition is the keen cutting edge of business, always shaving away at costs. ↗

— Henry Ford

#away #business #competition #costs #cutting

They kept me in short pants as long as they could, until they were shaving the hair on my legs because it was beginning to photograph. ↗

— Jackie Cooper

#beginning #could #hair #kept #legs

The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes. John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb? ↗

— David Wong

#humor #shaving #food