#som

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#brain #brian #call #compliment #even

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#great #hungry #really #rice #something

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #fish #fishing #go #just

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#flyer #hands #here #like #saying

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #how #hungry #i #i am

Just as long as something is gained, a lesson is learned. I do like those. The more quiet victories are always great. ↗

— Jon Heder

#gained #great #i #i do #just

I didn't think any amount of money was worth something that would take away what you believed in or what you stood for. I didn't want to do something my parents and daughter couldn't be proud of. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#any #away #believed #daughter #i

I don't know if you have ever been the object of someone's obsession - but if it's not of your desire, it is horrible. It is really awful. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#been #desire #ever #horrible #i

To be the object of someone's obsession is horrible. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#object #obsession #someone

We had a lion that was living in somebody's basement outside of Branson, Missouri. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#had #lion #living #missouri #outside